


The Game

by LilyK



Category: Starsky & Hutch
Genre: Gen, transcript
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-11 23:08:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29500425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilyK/pseuds/LilyK
Summary: After needling each other about a known felon eluding them, Hutch bets Starsky that he can hide from Starsky for a weekend and begins the game, not realizing that he’s infected with botulism.
Kudos: 2
Collections: Starsky & Hutch Original Series Transcripts





	The Game


    THE GAME
    
    Season 4, Episode 2
    
    Original Airdate: September 19, 1978
    
    Written by: 
    Created by: William Blinn
    Directed by: 
    
    Summary: After needling each other about a known felon eluding them, Hutch bets Starsky that he can hide from Starsky for a weekend and begins the game, not realizing that he’s infected with botulism. 
    
    Cast: 

David SouI ... Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson

PauI MichaeI Glaser ... Det. Dave Starsky

Antonio Fargas ... Huggy Bear

Bernie Hamilton ... Capt. Harold Dobey

Jack Ging ... Ray Pardee

Suzanne Charny ... Gina

Liz Torres ... Anita

Joseph R. Sicari ... Ernie Silvers

David Pendleton ... Doctor

D.J. O'NeilI ... Officer Simmons (as C.J. O'Neill)

Herbert S. Braha ... Babcock

Connie Lee Claywell ... Nurse

Raymond Allen ... MerI 'The Earl'
    
    
    **Interior – Day – Squad Room**
    
    HUTCH: (reads) “When it appears to you where this begins, turn your displeasure that way: Our faults can never be so equal that your love can equally move with them. Provide your going: Choose your own company and command what cost your heart has mind to.” Well, my heart has a mind to this weekend. How about that? 
    
    STARSKY: I'll drink to that. 
    
    HUTCH: Want a taste?
    
    STARSKY: Sure. What is it?
    
    HUTCH: Soup.
    
    STARSKY: From a can? Cold?
    
    HUTCH: Room temperature.
    
    Starsky: Didn't your mom ever tell you soup is only way soup is any good is if it burns your tongue?
    
    HUTCH: We obviously had different mothers.
    
    STARSKY: Yeah, mine was chicken soup. Yours is, ah, lam chowder.
    
    HUTCH: Fish is good for the brains.
    
    STARSKY: Then What's your excuse?
    
    HUTCH: I'm a ‘souper’ cop. In case you missed that, that was a pun. 
    
    STARSKY: (indecipherable) In case you missed it, you ain't no super cop.
    
    HUTCH: Well, let's just say I'm the best cop in this room.
    
    STARSKY: Second best. But I won't tell if you won’t. 
    
    HUTCH: Hey, it’s no secret. I've been carrying you since day one.
    
    DOBEY: Got a location on Ray Pardee.
    
    STARSKY: What are the numbers?
    
    DOBEY: 547 Olive.
    
    HUTCH: Who's the angel?
    
    DOBEY: They just asked if we wanted to nail an escaped con. 
    
    STARSKY: He's in our pocket.
    
    HUTCH: Excuse me, captain.
    
    STARSKY: Hey.
    
    HUTCH: Sorry, Captain.
    
    
    **Exterior – Day – Olive Street**
    
    GINA: Boy, this is crazy. You said yourself, we couldn't find a better place to live.
    
    PARDEE: Just got a feeling. We're getting out of here. Now, you shut up and get the rest of those boxes loaded, huh?
    
    HUTCH: Green sedan.
    
    STARSKY: Hmm. 
    
    HUTCH: This is not a garbage dump.
    
    STARSKY: Could have fooled me. Who's that?
    
    HUTCH: I don't know. Girlfriend, maybe.
    
    STARSKY: Could be.
    
    HUTCH: Well, well, well.
    
    STARSKY: Jackpot.
    
    HUTCH: Let's  take them. Come on, sweetheart. Come on,
    
    STARSKY: I thought you had this thing tuned.
    
    HUTCH: Well, I- I did. Must be the ignition.
    
    STARSKY: What's wrong?
    
    HUTCH: If I knew, we wouldn't be sitting here.
    
    PARDEEl Cops.
    
    STARSKY: Halt! Maybe you ought to change to chicken soup.
    
    
    **Interior – Day – The Pits**
    
    STARSKY: It's  your car.
    
    HUTCH: Look. I can't be held responsible for an inanimate object.
    
    STARSKY: The only inanimate object around here is your head.
    
    HUTCH: My head has gotten you out of more scrapes than you've got lives, and don’t you forget it.
    
    STARSKY: The bottom line, Mr. Hutchinson, is that the bad guy got away.
    
    HUTCH: Well-
    
    HUGGY: Excuse me, gentlemen. Gentlemen. I'd like you to meet Anita. Now, treat her nice because good waitresses are hard to find, okay?
    
    ANITA: Good customers are harder to find.
    
    HUTCH: Don't you pay him any mind, Rita.
    
    ANITA: You could stand a little mind, yourself. The name is Anita. I hope these guys are good tippers.
    
    STARSKY: If this what you call a good waitress, I'd hate to see a bad one.
    
    HUTCH: That's cruel, you know?
    
    ANITA: What is he? Passing?
    
    HUGGY: For what?
    
    ANITA: A human being. Write if you need anything else.
    
    HUTCH: I love her. I love you. I love her.
    
    STARSKY: I'm  glad. Enjoy it. Tomorrow you'll probably be back on the streets. In blue.
    
    HUTCH: Loser pays. I’ll go worry about Pardee.
    
    STARSKY: Did you hear that, Huggy? The tall, blond genius here says that I shouldn't worry.
    
    HUGGY: “Don't worry.” That's good advice. All you get is grey hair and more wrinkles.
    
    STARSKY: Who said you break first?
    
    HUTCH: A fait accompli.
    
    STARSKY: A who?
    
    HUTCH: It's  your shot.
    
    STARSKY: Thank you. Look, don't worry about Pardee. Huh? His m.o. is to work in the city. We'll get him.
    
    HUGGY: You ought to bank that shot.
    
    STARSKY: Maybe you'd like to take the shot.
    
    HUGGY: Thank you very much.
    
    STARSKY: My pleasure.
    
    HUGGY: It's been a pleasure.
    
    STARSKY: You're as weird as he is. Well, how do you expect to find Pardee?
    
    HUTCH: Just leave that to me. 
    
    STARSKY: I did that earlier today. He's still a free man. 
    
    HUTCH: I'll find him.
    
    STARSKY: You couldn't find a beer in a brewery.
    
    HUTCH: Oh, boy. That's not only corny, it's totally inaccurate.
    
    STARSKY: Give our careers a break. From now on, in my car, I'll  do the finding. You ride shotgun.
    
    HUTCH: I don't mean to hurt your feelings here, but I am the brains of this duo. You are the not-too-inconsiderable brawn.
    
    STARSKY: Who wrote that book?
    
    HUTCH: Life. You’re just going to have to accept it. 
    
    STARSKY: I'd be more than willing to prove it. I'll put the money on the brains. Mine.
    
    HUTCH: Yeah. Well, I know a way. How much?
    
    STARSKY: One week's salary.
    
    HUTCH: How about two weeks. And you're on.
    
    STARSKY: Deal. What’cha you got in mind?
    
    HUTCH: Very simple. A game called hide-and-seek. I hide, you seek. For the weekend. You game?
    
    STARSKY: Game, set and match. Pay the bill, sucker.
    
    HUTCH: Okay.
    
    
    **Exterior – Night – In the Torino**
    
    STARSKY: Hey, if we're gonna play this game, we need some rules.
    
    HUTCH: What's the matter, Starsky? You getting nervous?
    
    STARSKY: My natural superiority.
    
    HUTCH: Dream on, tuna.
    
    STARSKY: Just tell me when we start.
    
    HUTCH: Well, we’ll just punch out tonight, and we're free for the weekend.
    
    STARSKY: Even ‘Ringolevio’ had rules.
    
    HUTCH: All right. I'll stay within the city limits. How’s that?
    
    Starsky: During the day, you check in with someone we both know. Let's  say… every four hours.
    
    HUTCH: I'll make it easy on you. Every two hours. And somebody different each time.
    
    STARSKY: We're still talking about fifteen square miles of city.
    
    HUTCH: I'll give you a break then. I'll sleep some place we both know.
    
    STARSKY: Okay.
    
    HUTCH: Okay. We start tomorrow morning at 8:00. Wrap it up Monday morning at 8, okay?
    
    STARSKY: I'll have you wrapped up by tomorrow night, chump.
    
    HUTCH: Yeah, what makes you so sure of yourself?
    
    STARSKY: I've done my homework for seven years. I know how, where, when you eat, walk, sleep, talk. I know who you know, what you know and how you know it. And ain't no hiding behind that.
    
    HUTCH: We'll talk about that Monday morning, huh, motormouth?
    
    
    **Interior – Day – Starsky’s Apartment**
    
    STARSKY: Yeah?
    
    HUTCH: Morning. Early bird catches the first worm so I thought I’d give you an idea of my itinerary for the day.
    
    STARSKY: I hope that includes getting nailed by lunchtime.
    
    HUTCH: Afraid not, old sport. Well, first of all, since mine's in the shop, I thought I'd pick myself up a car. You know, something ...tasteful and inconspicuous.
    
    STARSKY: You wouldn't by any chance be thinking of an early model compact, maybe brown or grey? Let's say, 1962 to '65?
    
    HUTCH: Not even close, but keep trying. Talk to you later, huh? Compact '62 to '65. Well, this will do it to him. I gotta do something about the hair.
    
    
    **Interior – Day – Hotel Californian**
    
    HUTCH: Hey, look, I'm looking to talk to Ernie Silvers. He is around?
    
    SILVERS: Who are you?
    
    HUTCH: Bugs Bunny. Are you Silvers?
    
    SILVERS: I don't talk to bunnies, friend.
    
    HUTCH: I hear that you do things for people.
    
    SILVERS: Yeah, I rent rooms.
    
    HUTCH: I also hear you keep your mouth shut. Is that true?
    
    SILVERS: Who says?
    
    HUTCH: Well, I don't know. People. People say that.
    
    SILVERS: You'll have to do better than that, friend. 
    
    HUTCH: Hey. I'm not a patient man, friend. So unless you help me out, I’m gonna punch you through the middle of next week. You understand? 
    
    SILVERS: Okay, okay.
    
    HUTCH: Okay? 
    
    SILVERS: Okay.
    
    HUTCH: Okay. I forgot. Oh, yeah, Starsky and Hutch. You know a couple guys by the name of Starsky and Hutch?
    
    SILVERS: Yeah.
    
    HUTCH: Well, look.… I'm trying to stay away from them for a couple of days.
    
    SILVERS: Why didn't you tell me that before? For years, I've been trying to throw the blocks to them.
    
    HUTCH: Oh, yeah? 
    
    SILVERS: Oh, yeah. 
    
    HUTCH: Couple of turkeys, huh?
    
    SILVERS: Oh, yeah. The worst. And dumb. Let me tell you.
    
    HUTCH: Dumb?
    
    SILVERS: Especially the blond one.
    
    HUTCH: Thought he was supposed to be the bright one.
    
    SILVERS: Yeah, if he is, it ain't by much.
    
    HUTCH: Is that right?
    
    SILVERS: Oh, yeah. You see, they think they got me figured out, you know. But I'm  the one who calls the shots. Oh, yeah, I give them a little here and there, you know, but when it counts, I give them (noise) fsst. And you know what?
    
    HUTCH: What?
    
    SILVERS: They're so dumb, they don't even know the difference.
    
    HUTCH: I think you better get my room, huh?
    
    SILVERS: Oh, yeah, sure.
    
    HUTCH: You got something with a shower and a view?
    
    SILVERS: Hey, what do you think this is, The Waldorf?
    
    HUTCH: Little of shampoo?
    
    SILVERS: That I could give you.
    
    HUTCH: Hold up there. My cap.
    
    
    **Interior – Day – Merl’s Shop**
    
    STARSKY: Earl? You here?
    
    MERL: Ain't nobody here but us chickens. And you came home to roost.
    
    STARSKY: Hey.
    
    MERL: Hey, What's happening, Starsky?
    
    STARSKY: How you doing?
    
    MERL: You decide to get out that old Torino and step up in class?
    
    STARSKY: You're working on this heap and talking about class?
    
    MERL: Say, for money, baby. I'd work on Ben Hur's chariot and charge for a ring job.
    
    STARSKY: Look, say… you seen Hutch around?
    
    MERL: Yeah.
    
    STARSKY: When?
    
    MERL: When he rented another car while I give mouth-to-mouth to this corpse.
    
    STARSKY: That's right. He said he was gonna get another job. What did he get?
    
    MERL: A car that runs.
    
    STARSKY: What kind?
    
    MERL: The kind that he paid a extra 25 bucks for me not to tell you.
    
    RADIO ANNOUNCER: And now, at noon, some of the top headlines brought to you by Avionics Stereo… 
    
    STARSKY: I'll give you thirty.
    
    MERL: Fifty.
    
    STARSKY: That's a hustle and you know it.
    
    MERL: Well, now it's 55, for you being so mean.
    
    STARSKY: All right. Hold it. 
    
    RADIO ANNOUNCER: ...for the May 5th slaying of Mo Roskin. From the U.S. Department of Health, a spokesman has announced a major breakthrough… 
    
    STARSKY: Look, I only got 20. Will you take a check?
    
    MERL: I'd sooner take a chance on that soup that dude was rapping about.
    
    STARSKY: What are you talking about?
    
    MERL: Bad credit, blood. Bad credit. And I don't need none of yours. 
    
    RADIO ANNOUNCER: ...clam chowder, chicken gumbo, and...
    
    STARSKY: You're a hard man, Earl.
    
    MERL: That's the bed I was born on, Starsky.
    
    RADIO ANNOUNCER: …Botulism toxins discovered in the soups manufactured by the Ryland Soup Company. So be careful what you eat. Those can soups are infected and very dangerous. And now back....
    
    MERL: I ain't taking no checks, man,
    
    STARSKY: What kind was it?
    
    MERL: Hutch paid good money for me not to tell you-
    
    STARSY: No, no. Not the car, the soup. The announcer said the name of it.
    
    MERL: Oh, that. I don't know, but he did say something about “bottle-ism” or something. Anyway, sounded like it would hurt.
    
    Starsky: It's botulism. Hurts enough to kill.
    
    
    **Interior – Day – Police Lab**
    
    DOCTOR: This can is loaded.
    
    STARSKY: How bad?
    
    DOCTOR: How long ago did Hutch consume this stuff?
    
    STARSKY: Twelve to eighteen hours ago. Does it matter?
    
    DOCTOR: This particular form of botulism does its number in two, three days.
    
    STARSKY: But you can treat it, can't you?
    
    DOCTOR: Sure, we have the antitoxin. If you can get him in during the next 48 hours.
    
    
    **Exterior – Day – The Pits**
    
    HUTCH: Hey, honey, you wanna buy some gold eagles? Gold eagles.
    
    STARSKY: I know Hutch figures I’m going to be pulling out all the stops. When he hears “botulism” and an APB, he won't go for it.
    
    HUGGY: But what about when he starts getting sick?
    
    STARSKY: By then, the doctor says it might be too late. When it comes, it comes like a freight train. Paralysis, the whole number. 
    
    HUGGY: With that maniac, Pardee, on the loose, you guys sure picked a funny time to start playing games.
    
    STARSKY: Oh, come on, Huggy. Give me a break. There are 5 million people in this town and 50 kinds of soup. What do you think the odds are against this happening to Hutch?
    
    HUTCH: Hey. You. Wanna buy a pencil? It's a long pencil here with an eraser on the top. It's a steal at half the price. Golden eagles. I got a-
    
    STARSKY: Come on, old man! Get out of the way! Hey, get out of the way,
    
    HUTCH: All right. 
    
    HUGGY: Don't hit the old man.
    
    STARSKY: See you around.
    
    HUGGY: Here you go, old man.
    
    HUTCH: Thank you, sonny. Thank you.
    
    
    **Exterior – Day – In the Torino**
    
    POLICE DISPATCHER: Zebra 3. Patch through from Sergeant Hutchinson.
    
    STARSKY: Put him through.
    
    HUTCH: Hey, cheapskate. Wanna buy a pencil?
    
    STARSKY: Hutch. Hutch, listen to me.
    
    HUTCH: Just think what might have happened, Starsky, if you had had taken the time to be nice to an old man huh? 
    
    STARSKY: You win. I lose. Come on in. I'll have your money waiting.
    
    HUTCH: Nice try, but no good.
    
    STARSKY: Hutch? Hutch?
    
    POLICE DISPATCHER: He hung up, Sergeant.
    
    
    **Interior – Day – Police Precinct**
    
    DOBEY: Hide-and-seek? My kids outgrew that game before they were 7 years old.
    
    STARSKY: Captain, until he called in, I had no idea he was gonna do a Halloween number with disguises. 
    
    DOBEY: There’s got to be some way to smoke him out. 
    
    STARSKY: Well, anything I do he'll gonna figure is a hustle.
    
    DOBEY: Well, you better figure out something. That hide-and-seek number of yours has turned into a game of life and death.
    
    STARSKY: Life and death. That's it.
    
    DOBEY: What's it?
    
    STARSKY: Simmons and Babcock. They off for the weekend? 
    
    DOBEY: They just got off. Why?
    
    STARSKY: Hey, Simmons, Babcock. Could I see you guys for a second?
    
    DOBEY: Starsky?
    
    STARSKY: Relax, Captain. I think I got it all figured out. Look, there’s something I want you do to. 
    
    DOBEY: All right, Starsky. You do what you have to do, but I'm  gonna put an APB citywide on Hutchinson.
    
    
    **Exterior – Day – City Streets**
    
    POLICE DISPATCHER: All units, All units. We have an APB for Detective Ken Hutchinson, probable victim of botulism poisoning. In addition, the APB on escaped convict, Ray Pardee, is still in effect. He is presumed to be in the area.
    
    
    **Interior – Day – The Pits**
    
    ANITA: Huggy's not here and he won't be back till tonight, if you’re asking. 
    
    STARSKY: I came back for a beer, that's all.
    
    ANITA: You keep coming around like this and people are gonna start talking about us.
    
    STARSKY: Well, I've heard worse, but I don't know where.
    
    ANITA: Are you paying for this or is it on the city?
    
    BABCOCK: All right, Everybody freeze, Okay, I want all the goodies in the bar. Now! That includes the dough in the register. Move it,
    
    ANITA: Are you gonna do something about this? 
    
    STARSKY: Forget it. You won't get two blocks.
    
    BABCOCK: Get back to the bar.
    
    STARSKY: Make is easy on yourself. Give up the gun. I'm a cop.
    
    ANITA: Starsky! Oh, my God,
    
    SIMMONS: Come on, move it. I'm a police officer. Somebody call an ambulance. Quick. Let's  go. Now lets get this room cleared as quickly as possible. Come on. Move it, Let's  go, Come on.
    
    ANITA: Is this a hospital? Yes, I need an ambulance. Now. What the hell does it matter what my name is? There's a man who's been shot here. He's dying. The place is called The Pits. What's the address here?
    
    SIMMONS: 1348 6th Street. 
    
    ANITA: 1348 6th Street. What do you mean, “if I call the cops”? Who do you think gave me the address?Look, lady, What's your name? Pamela. Pamela Sue. All right, Pamela Sue, if you don't have an ambulance over here in 30 seconds, I am personally going to go over to that joint and rip off a piece of what you call your brain.
    
    SIMMONS: Listen, stay with him, okay?
    
    ANITA: How you doing?
    
    STARSKY: I'm  still here, Rita.
    
    ANITA: It's Anita. But it doesn't matter. You can call me Rita till your mouth turns dry.  You just hang in there. Just hang in.
    
    
    **Interior – Day – Hotel Californian**
    
    HUTCH: Ah ha! Got you. Yeah?
    
    SILVERS: It's  Ernie Silvers. You got a second? Hey, I got something important to tell ya. Can I come in?
    
    HUTCH: Yeah, yeah, Ernie. Come on in.
    
    SILVERS: I thought you might like to know that some Good Samaritan just nailed one of our mutual friends.
    
    HUTCH: Yeah, you got a mutual friend?
    
    SILVERS: The cop. Starsky. From what I hear, he just caught himself up in the middle of a holdup and got three slugs right in the gut. Didn't kill him, though. Too bad.
    
    HUTCH: Oh, yeah. Yeah, Ernie. Well, where did this happen?
    
    SILVERS: At a place called The Pits.
    
    HUTCH: The Pits, huh? Well, you know, that sounds sounds phony to me. You know, it's like a setup, you know.
    
    SILVERS: What are you talking, setup?
    
    HUTCH: Well.… You know, Starsky and Hutch might be trying to set me up, you know?
    
    SILVERS:  Man, you must be a bigger heavy-weight than I thought. You think they'd go that far?
    
    HUTCH: I just wanna make sure, you know? I wanna make sure so I want you to help me out. There's 50 bucks in it for you, okay?
    
    SILVERS: Sure, sure, anything.
    
    HUTCH: I'll talk to you later, all right?
    
    SILVERS: Yeah.
    
    HUTCH: All right, thanks a lot. Yeah, okay.
    
    
    **Interior – Day – Hospital**
    
    DOBEY: How we doing?
    
    STARSKY: How'd you like to have these up your nose?
    
    DOBEY: If it doesn't work, We'll have tubes coming out of more places than noses.
    
    STARSKY: If this doesn't work, I don't give a damn.
    
    DOBEY: I still say we're making a mistake. We should be stopping everybody that even looks like him.
    
    STARSKY: Whether he comes in disguise or not, that's exactly what he'll look for. So if we're stopping everybody who comes looking-
    
    DOBEY:  I know, I know. I just don't wanna miss him.
    
    STARSKY: That makes two of us.
    
    
    **Interior – Night – The Pits**
    
    ANITA: (on phone) Yeah, yeah. Fine. Yeah, I understand. Thanks. (end) 
    
    SILVERS: Excuse me, is it true that Starsky got himself shot? The cop?
    
    ANITA: You know him?
    
    SILVERS: Oh, sure. Yeah. I'm  an old friend of his, Ernie Silvers. Is it serious? I mean, you think that he's gonna...? You know...? 
    
    ANITA: They don't know.
    
    SILVERS: Could I use your phone? It’s just a local call.
    
    ANITA: You got a dime?
    
    SILVERS: No. Thank you very much. (on phone) Yeah, hello? Ernie, here.
    
    HUTCH: Oh, yeah, Ernie. Yeah. Yeah. What did she say?
     
    SILVERS: Very little. But if she was putting up a front, it was a pretty good one. She looked like she'd been crying for hours without letting up.
    
    HUTCH: Oh, yeah. Yeah, well, thanks a lot, Ernie. Yeah, yeah, thanks. (end) 
    
    
    **Interior – Night - Hospital**
    
    NURSE: Yes, he is in critical condition. Well, he's doing as well as can be expected.
    
    BABCOCK: Listen, I feel kind of bad for Anita. 
    
    SIMMONS: Yeah? 
    
    BABCOCK: She took it bad, Didn't she?
    
    SIMMONS: Oh, yeah. 
    
    BABCOCK: She was really nervous. 
    
    SIMMONS: Did you see the look on her face?
    
    BABCOCK: Oh. White.
    
    DOBEY: Talk to me. You two keeping your eyes open?
    
    SIMMONS: Yeah. 
    
    BABCOCK: How's the patient?
    
    DOBEY: Lousy.
    
    SIMMONS: he's starting to believe it himself?
    
    DOBEY: What kind of crack is that, Simmons. And wipe that smile off your face, Babcock. It's  bad enough to have tubes up your nose. But when you're as healthy as Starsky is, it hurts more. Now get back to your post. And remember, we still have that APB on the escaped convict, Ray Pardee.
    
    BABCOCK: Right.
    
    HUGGY: What I wanna know is, where's Hutch? He must have heard about this by now.
    
    STARSKY: He'll be here.
    
    NURSE: Sergeant Starsky? A man just gave me this note. He told me to read it to you.
    
    STARSKY: Go ahead.
    
    NURSE: “Dear Starsk. Close, but no cigar. Love, Hutch. P.S. How much of a cut did you promise Dobey and Huggy-?” 
    
    STARSKY: Let me see that.
    
    HUGGY: What are you doing?
    
    STARSKY: Look out. Get out of the way.
    
    HUGGY: Hey! Hey! You're supposed to be sick,
    
    NURSE: Sergeant Starsky-
    
    STARSKY: Stop. Hutch,
    
    
    **Interior – Day – Hotel Californian**
    
    HUTCH: Hey, look, Ernie. I'm coming down with some kind of a sore throat or something. You got anything for it?
    
    SILVER: Hey, I got a great deal on some ludes.
    
    HUTCH: Yeah, okay, Ernie.
    
    HUTCH: Okay, okay.
    
    SILVERS: You want straight stuff, go to the drugstore.
    
    HUTCH: Yeah. Hey, is that your phone ringing?
    
    SILVERS: No, it's out of order.
    
    HUTCH: I could be wrong.
    
    SILVERS: (on phone) California Hotel. No, there's nothing available. We got a big convention. (end) 
    
    
    **Exterior – Day – Hotel Californian**
    
    GINA: Taxi, Taxi! 
    
    
    **Interior – Day – Hotel Californian**
    
    SILVERS: Hey, look. Let's not tie up the line. There's a wall phone over there. This does not come with the rates, you know what I mean? 
    
    HUTCH: (on phone) Yeah, get me the dispatcher. Hello, Manny? It's Ken Hutchinson. Yeah, look, one of your cabs just picked up a fare at the corner of 5th and Pine. Can you give me-? (pause) Hold it right there, Ernie. (on phone) Give me a fix on the destination, would you please? Thank you. (pause) At-ta-boy. (on phone) Yeah. 722 Prospect. Got it. Thanks, Manny. (end) Well, well, well.
    
    SILVERS: Listen, Hutchinson. You see, a lot of guys come in. I wanna make them feel comfortable. So I pretended I'm  a cop hater because that's what they expect of me. You know? I mean, it's all a business. That's all it is, ah, business. Yeah, you now. A man of your position can understand that.
    
    HUTCH: Sorry, Ernie. I'm supposed to be the dumb one, remember?
    
    SILVERS: Oh, yeah
    
    HUTCH: Well, we can have a nice, long talk about that. 
    
    SILVERS: Sure. Sure. I mean, you know.… 
    
    HUTCH: Yeah, ask you a favor?
    
    SILVERS: Oh, hey. Anything. Anything your heart desires.
    
    HUTCH: That's nice. If Starsky should come in here, you have not seen me.  Understand?
    
    SILVERS: Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I mean, from this mouth, nothing. Believe me.
    
    HUTCH: One more thing, Ernie. Your glasses are all fogged up.
    
    SILVERS: Well, thanks, Hutch.
    
    
    **Interior – Day – Dobey’s Office**
    
    DOBEY: That's all right, doc. I appreciate it anyway.
    
    STARSKY: False alarm?
    
    DOBEY: Yeah. Some blond guy checked into Webster Clinic with botulism. Only he weighed 220 pounds. What's new at the hospital?
    
    STARSKY: Went the whole route. Doctors, nurses, emergency ward, front desk.
    
    DOBEY: And?
    
    STARSKY: If Hutch showed up asking questions, whoever he was playing, he did a damn good job. Captain, we've missed something. Let's  start at the beginning.
    
    DOBEY: All right.
    
    STARSKY: Hutch hears through the grapevine that I've been hit. But he's suspicious. So, what does he do?
    
    DOBEY: He's not coming to me. He knows I'm going to chew him out. Maybe he'd go to Huggy Bear.
    
    STARSKY: Knowing Hutch, he figures that Huggy's in on the setup.
    
    DOBEY: Maybe he climbed into his disguise and checked the hospital out for himself. We're back to square one.
    
    STARSKY: What if he went somewhere before he went to the hospital?
    
    DOBEY: Nah. He wouldn't know what was going down at The Pits.
    
    STARSKY: Right. So he'd have to go and check out The Pits itself. Knowing us, he figures we'd be laying for him. So he probably went there in disguise.
    
    DOBEY: That blew us right out of the water again.
    
    STARSKY: It's worth a shot.
    
    DOBEY: Let me know.
    
    
    **Interior – Day – Gina’s House**
    
    GINA: Just a minute. I'll be with you in a second. Who are you, mister?
    
    HUTCH: Police. I'd like to talk to you.
    
    GINA: Mister, who do you think you are? You can't walk into someone's apartment and take over, you know. I got my rights. You just can't come in here and barge in. 've got my privacy. You just can't take over,
    
    HUTCH: Ray Pardee, Where is he?
    
    GINA: Who?
    
    HUTCH: Look, lady. I'm  in no mood to dance. I saw you get into a car with him the other day and I’d like to know where is he. 
    
    GINA: You've got the wrong girl, mister.
    
    HUTCH: He got something on you, too, huh?
    
    GINA: I don't know what you're talking about.
    
    HUTCH: Or are you scared of him? What's this? 
    
    GINA: Do you have a search warrant or something? You just can't come in- 
    
    HUTCH: What's this? Airline tickets, huh? Ray Samuels. What did he do? Have you buy these form him? Of course, he did. Is this your money too? What did he do? Tell you he was gonna send for you? he's not gonna do that, lady. He'll just keep squeezing you and squeezing you until you wise up. Then he'll dump you like he’s dumped every other lady who's ever been dumb enough to help him out. Now, look, I can get you off that treadmill, but you gotta help me.
    
    GINA: I can't.
    
    HUTCH: Okay. But if he gets away, you know who's gonna get the heat, don’t you? You are. But that's his style. Hit them and run.
    
    GINA: Look, I tried to leave him once. I did. But he hurt me.
    
    HUTCH: You take me to him now, lady, and I promise you he won't hurt you again.
    
    GINA: All right. Okay. Are you all right? Mister? Are you okay? Huh? Are you all right?
    
    HUTCH: Yeah, yeah. I'm  fine. Let's  go, huh. Let's  go.
    
    
    **Interior – Day – The Pits**
    
    ANITA: After that number you did, I shouldn't even talk to you.
    
    HUGGY: Come on, babe. He told you why.
    
    ANITA: Well, yeah, you could've told me.
    
    STARSKY: I'm  sorry. I really am. I'm ery sorry. And I'm  glad you care enough to be upset.
    
    ANITA: Yeah, well.… That and your quarter tip will get me zip.
    
    STARSKY: Look, are you sure he didn't come in here in disguise?
    
    ANITA: Honey, he could walk in with a Godzilla mask, I'd still recognize that pretty partner of yours. 
    
    STARSKY: Look, weren't there any calls asking about my condition?
    
    HUGGY: Not one, Mr. Popularity. 
    
    ANITA: Although a friend of yours did ask.
    
    STARSKY: Friend?
    
    ANITA: I didn't know you were faking it. He still walking around thinking that you're wiped.
    
    STARSKY: What was his name?
    
    ANITA: I don't know. I was upset. How do you expect me to remember?
    
    HUGGY: You gotta remember. Hutch's life might depend on it.
    
    ANITA: All right, all right. Let me think a minute. Now, he walked in and he said, “I'm an old friend and my name is, is Ernie something.” Or Ernie something… 
    
    STARSKY: Ernie?
    
    ANITA: Ernie Slotkin, Silva.
    
    STARSKY: Ernie Silvers?
    
    ANITA: You know him?
    
    STARSKY: Like my own pet rattlesnake. You're beautiful.
    
    ANITA: I may be beautiful, but I'm still poor.
    
    
    **Interior – Day – Condemned Building**
    
    GINA: Ray? Let me in.
    
    HUTCH: You, Pardee, hold it. You just… move back against the wall there. Come on, move. Sit down. Don't move. Here, lady. Go get a phone. Call the ninth precinct. And ask for… Detective Sergeant Starsk.… Starsky.
    
    PARDEE: I'm gonna tell you something, cop. This is a real first for me. A real first. You know, Hutchinson, if I was you, I'd be getting pretty discouraged about now. I mean, two big mistakes in one week. That must set some kind of record for you, huh. 
    
    HUTCH: We do our best.
    
    Yeah. Yeah, I guess you do that, don't you?
    
    HUTCH: We'll get you the third time, Pardee.
    
    PARDEE: Well, don't you bet on that, cop. As a matter of fact, it seems like the more I'm  around you, the luckier I get.
    
    HUTCH: Are you proposing to me, is that it?
    
    PARDEE: No. It just means we’re going to be sticking together for a little longer. That is, if you can stay alive. Give me the money.
    
    GINA: I don't have it. He came in before I could get out the door.
    
    PARDEE: Well, then go get it. 
    
    GINA: Ray, listen. I want out. I can't take it anymore. I can't.
    
    PARDEE: You want out? You can't take it anymore? You can't, huh? Is that why you brought him? Because you can't?
    
    HUTCH: Let her alone, Pardee. The only reason she's here is because I brought her. 
    
    PARDEE: Is that right, Gina? He forced you to? 
    
    GINA: Yes! 
    
    PARDEE: Well, Hutch, I'm  surprised at you. Look at her. She's shaking like a little leaf. Now, you listen to me, baby. You go get that money because we're leaving here tonight. You and me.
    
    GINA: We?
    
    PARDEE: We. We. I've decided to take you with me after all, baby. All right?
    
    GINA: Yeah. Okay.
    
    PARDEE: All right. Go on. Go on.
    
    HUTCH: Tell her the rest of it, Pardee. Gina, I'm his hostage. He knows he can't  handle me alone. So he still needs you. Take the money and run.
    
    GINA: Shut up, cop. 
    
    PARDEE: You got one hour. Now, get.
    
    GINA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
    
    
    **Interior – Day – Hotel Californian**
    
    STARSKY: You're lying, Ernie.
    
    SILVERS: Come on, Starsky. Hutchinson? Here? Come on, it don't make sense.
    
    STARSKY: It makes perfect sense. What'd he do? Warn you I'd be looking for him Tell you to keep your mouth shut?
    
    SILVERS: No. Lay off.
    
    STARSKY: Answers. I want them now.
    
    SILVERS: Hey, I got a heart condition. Do you mind?
    
    STARSKY: I mind, I mind because I'm  fighting for my partner's life.
    
    SILVERS: His life?
    
    STARSKY: Where is he?
    
    SILVERS: I don't know, huh. I mean, that's the truth.
    
    STARSKY: He was here? When?
    
    SILVERS: Well.… He left a couple of hours ago.
    
    STARSKY: You talk to him? What'd he say?
    
    SILVERS: He didn't tell where he was going, if that’s what you’re getting at, you know. I mean, he just came in here, he used the phone and he took off.
    
    STARSKY: Who'd he call?
    
    SILVERS: I wasn't paying attention.
    
    STARSY: Baloney! You pay attention to anything that'll get you a dime. Come on! Think!
    
    SILVERS: It was something about a cab, you know. He called this cab company and he talked to the dispatcher named Manny. Yeah. He asked for Manny. 
    
    
    **Interior – Day – Gina’s House**
    
    POLICE OPERATOR: (on phone) Police Department. Sergeant Spears. 
    
    GINA: Yes, ah, I’d like to speak to Sergeant Starsky. 
    
    POLICE OPERATOR: One moment, please. (end) 
    
    
    **Interior – Day – Condemned Building**
    
    HUTCH: She’s not coming back, Pardee. 
    
    PARDEE: Speak up, cop. I can’t hear you. 
    
    HUTCH: She’s not coming back. 
    
    PARDEE: Oh, yeah, she’s coming back. 
    
    HUTCH: She’s on to you, Pardee. 
    
    PARDEE: Shut up. 
    
    HUTCH: She’s gonna run. There’s not a damn thing you can do about it. I’ll bet that hurts you. 
    
    PARDEE: I told you to shut up! 
    
    HUTCH: I’ll bet it does. 
    
    PARDEE: I said, shut up! I’m onto your game. You think we get on the streets and you’ll have a better chance. Well, you ain’t. 
    
    HUTCH: (mumbles)
    
    PARDEE: Shut up! I’ll put you out of your misery right now. 
    
    HUTCH: A dead hostage isn’t gonna do you much good, is it? Of course, if you waste any more time, whatever it is that's ailing me is gonna probably kill me anyway. But she's not coming back.
    
    PARDEE: I said, shut up.
    
    
    **Interior – Day – Gina’s House**
    
    GINA: What? Who are you? 
    
    STARSKY: You're Pardee's girlfriend, right?
    
    GINA: Not anymore I'm not.
    
    STARSKY: Hutch was here looking for him, wasn't he?
    
    GINA: You Starsky? I wanted to call a doctor for him. I did. But I knew Ray would come after me. 
    
    STARSKY: Look! 
    
    GINA: I didn't mean anything by it.
    
    STARSKY: Look! Is Hutch still alive?
    
    GINA: I don't know. He was when I left them.
    
    STARSKY: Them? You mean Hutch and Pardee?
    
    GINA: He was so sick and I could've helped him and I didn’t. It's my fault.
    
    STARSKY: It's not your fault. Now just tell me. You can still help. Where is he? Huh? 
    
    
    
    **Interior – Day – Condemned Building**
    
    PARDEE: Come on, cop. We're splitting out of here. Come on. Can you walk? Come on, get up. Get up. Come on. Come on. Come on, get up. Just a little bit further.
    
    HUTCH: I can't make it.
    
    PARDEE: Come on. Just a little further. Let's go. Come on. Just a little further. Come on, cop. Get in there. Sit up.
    
    STARSKY: Take him. Get me an ambulance! 
    
    DOBEY: Take him out there. 
    
    STARSKY: You're gonna be okay.
    
    HUTCH: You turned up the big winner, huh?
    
    STARSKY: Yeah.
    
    
    **Interior – Day – Venice Place**
    
    HUTCH: White snow. Mittens. Ice cream. Lake Medley. Monday white sale
    
    STARSKY: Hey, if you did that with clean white pajamas and a sitar, you could start a religious movement.
    
    HUTCH: It's called free association, mush brain. Speaking of which, throw that pizza in the oven before it petrifies. 
    
    STARSKY: You got the Buddy Holly album. It's autographed.
    
    HUTCH: Yeah. It cost me an arm and a leg. But there's only eight of them.
    
    STARSKY: No kidding. 
    
    HUTCH: Yup. 
    
    STARSKY: Why don't you give me a crack at that. I bet my stream of consciousness would float us both right out of the room.
    
    HUTCH: Yeah, I bet it would, too. Okay, why don’t you put the magazine down, take your feet off the thing, sit down over here. I'll show you what to do. The experience of your lifetime. Come on.
    
    STARSKY: Okay.
    
    HUTCH: First thing you gotta do is to relax. Okay, take your hands apart. Right. Close your eyes. No, no, no. Relax your face. Good. Now, take some deep breaths. Fill those lungs up. Don't kill yourself, just relax. That's it. Now, I want you to tell me everything that comes into your mind when I say the word “closet.”
    
    STARSKY: Closet?
    
    HUTCH: Closet.
    
    STARSKY: Closet. Mothballs. Stuffy, dark. Overcoat. It's my eighth birthday. I'm hiding from my father. Heavy footsteps. I'm trapped. He's getting closer.
    
    HUTCH: What?
    
    STARSKY: I just thought of something terrible. 
    
    HUTCH: Starsky, that's terrific. That's wonderful. Talk about it? Spit it out.
    
    STARSKY: No, I don't think it's something you'd wanna hear.
    
    HUTCH: The whole point of this exercise is to cleanse yourself. Is to get these things out and talk about them. It's the only way it works.
    
    STARSKY: You won't hold it against me?
    
    HUTCH: No. Absolutely not. It won't leave this room.
    
    STARSKY: Well, you remember when I was holding your new Buddy Holly album in my left hand and the pizza in my right hand.
    
    HUTCH: Right.
    
    STARSKY: Or was it the pizza in my left hand and album in my right? One of them is in the oven. 
    
    HUTCH: Doesn't smell like the pizza, does it?
    
    END


End file.
